Gertrude Stein Sees This

If one had flown to California to Los Angeles as I did and one were seeing a play one might be seeing this play This. If one wrote This one might be Melissa James Gibson and if one directed This one might be Daniel Aukin. But what of this? As I said one can see This in LA, and what is This? This is this:

This was about this and that but mostly this: There was this man and this woman and there was this baby and there was this odd door with these funny hinges and this jazz singer with this sparkly frock.

As you see I can and will go on and on about This. This is about these sad people these sad people in their 40’s these sad people who are sad because they are in their 40’s and really would wouldn’t be sad to be in their 40’s but mostly This is about this one particularly sad lady in her 40’s. One feels that this particularly sad lady in her 40’s has a frightful sadness in her.

This starts when the these people play this game you’d like this game I like this game I don’t know the name of this game but in this game this one person (this was the lady with the frightful sadness) asks these questions to this big group of these other people. This group has told this lady that there is a story but there is no story this is the secret of this game. This lady asks questions because she is believing there to be a story, and this group responds with these answers yes or no.

This is the one rule: If this one person asks this group a question ending with a vowel this group answers with this word yes. If this one person asks this group a question ending with a consonant this group answers with this word no.

This is an example:

“Is this story based on true things?” “No!”

“Is this story an Aesop fable?” “Yes!”

“Is this story a sad story?” “Maybe!”

And this is the special part of this game in This that I haven’t told you about! If a question ends with this letter Y, the answer to this is this: maybe.

Is this funny to you? This is funny to me and this is funny to this friend of mine Jessie who saw This with me.

The point of this game in This is that this person with the frightful sadness creates a story in her mind a story that is not a story that truly exists but only exists because she is so fully believing the yes-s the no-s and the maybe-s of this group her friend. This fake story might make this person sad or angry or happy but in This this game turns this lady with this frightful sadness into this upset and angry lady with this truly very frightful sadness.

(When this friend of mine Jessie plays this game with me this game makes us laugh something terrible. This game you see can make this day which is a dull day into a day which is an exciting day because if one plays this game suddenly one is saying these words yes no maybe in all these funny places and this is an example:

This waiter at Father’s Office [this is a funny name but I like it still] asks us “may I take this play away” and this is our answer “maybe!”

This is a good way to spend one’s day and to forget this fact that one day one will be a dead one.)

But enough of this and back to This. As I said there is this lady with this frightful sadness and after this silly game this lady drops this perfectly lovely ice cream cone on the stage and this other lady the jazz singer with this sparkly frock cleans it up. I believe I am not alone when I say that this ice cream would’ve been marvelous on one’s tongue that is if one were not vegan nor lactose-intolerant in which case one should eat a rice cake and a bad rice cake at that.

So they play this game and she drops this ice cream cone and there is much gnashing of teeth. This other man with this ache in his heart has a funny purse on his chest and he places this baby in this and this is called a Bjorn and yes this J is silent.

So now you know about This and I am happy about this. I am happy about this because when one is not a dead one one should tell of things like This. This is a wide world after all with many odd oddities and curious curiosities. What is This if This is not curiosity after all. And that is that or better yet this is this.


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